Kindness Bartered is Manipulative Kindness
True kindness doesn’t expect to be reciprocated. Kindness is defined as the tendency of being forgiving or the "quality of being warmhearted and considerate and humane and sympathetic." Therefore, a form of kindness that's expecting a reward or a reciprocal attitude from whom one's kindness was tendered is deceptive and manipulative. For kindness is to be nice to others, free of any ulterior motives at all---no strings attached. Someone has well said that: "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice."
Therefore, a form of kindness that's expecting a reward or a reciprocal attitude from whom one's kindness was tendered is deceptive and manipulative. For kindness is to be nice to others, free of any ulterior motives at all---no strings attached. Someone has well said that: "It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice."
A Kindness Given in Exchange
for Personal Reward, Advantage, and Gratification
There's a story in the Bible where a certain woman built a room for Prophet Elisha (2 Kings 4:8-17). Pleased, Elisha prayed that the notable but childless Shunammite woman would bear a son. Using this illustration, one preacher ventured to say that: one's kindness will always be rewarded. He also added that a glass of cold water given in kindness will receive a reward, quoting Matthew 10:40-42:
"He who receives you receives Me, and he who receives Me receives Him who sent Me. He who receives a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet's reward; and he who receives a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man's reward. And whoever in the name of a disciple gives to one of these little ones even a cup of cold water to drink, truly I say to you, he shall not lose his reward." (Matthew 10:40-42)
Now, who would dare to disagree with the above verses which fell from the lips of Christ Himself? Well, Jesus Christ is the Truth. (John 14:6). No one can twist the Biblical truth that "God is not mocked; a man reaps what he sows"! Outside of Christ or the Christian faith for that matter however, the virtue of kindness or being nice to people, is usually applied differently. We normally are nice only if we have a personal interest on the recipient or the results of our kindness. "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" seems to be the norm in our relationships!
Be Kind Without Expecting Any Form of Reward
Outside of Christ or the Christian faith for that matter however, the virtue of kindness or being nice to people, is usually applied differently. We normally are nice only if we have a personal interest on the recipient or the results of our kindness. "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth" seems to be the norm in our relationships!
Charles H. Spurgeon once said: "A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble." I think Spurgeon is right: we need to be kind without expecting any form of reward, for the truest reward or payment of our kindness is the happy remembrance of our good character by the people affected by our benignity.
Christian Kindness Toward Christian Leaders
I do personally believe, however, that one's kindness given to the real leaders and the true Christian Church as well will always receive a reward from the Lord, either physically, spiritually, or even financially or all three divine blessings at once. Jesus Christ taught it; I experienced it: I experienced where all that I had was burned (my computer, books, everything) to ashes! But my faith in Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior was authentic as ever despite my severe trials; I knew that He loved me and bled and died for my sins. (Now I have a laptop already for me to be able to share my story so easily). "Delight thyself also in the LORD"; yes, amidst the storms of trials, "and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." Psalm 37:4.
Charles H. Spurgeon once said: "A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble." I think Spurgeon is right: we need to be kind without expecting any form of reward, for the truest reward or payment of our kindness is the happy remembrance of our good character by the people affected by our benignity.
Kindness Attracts Kindness
Kindness, outside of the Christian paradigm, has another meaning. We are living in this "me-first" world, and being kind the way Christ was while He was still walking on this planet over 2,000 years ago, has now become a strange phenomenon to the majority. For we understand kindness today to be always connected to our personal interest. The politicians, in particular, have coined this great description of their so-called kindness (not all of them, though!): "There's no such thing as permanent friendship, only permanent interest."
A confident public speaker started his speech by saying: "When God created the universe He created universal laws and one of these laws is the law of attraction." Well said. Kindness attracts kindness, in short. The Bible is full of instructions about patience and kindness, which are relevant even to this Bible-less generation of ours.
God’s Kindness Attracts Repentance
After all, the kindness of God will lead people to repent, wrote the Apostle Paul. Her mother's sympathies may change the wicked and disobedient daughter. Here's how Paul said it:
"So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance, and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?" ( Romans 2:3-4 )
CONCLUSION
Let's go now to the bottom line of it all: some people are naturally kind to others, they be Christians or not, some of their names are even in the Guinness Book. They are so few, though. Would you include Mahatma Gandhi or Buddha or Mother Teresa in your list of genuinely kind people? Or, do you believe they did what they did, yes, to thousands of individuals, without expecting any personal gratification in the process? You have your answer, of course.
Quotes
This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness. - Dalai Lama
But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.- Jesus Christ (Luke 6:35)
